Refusing to kick the habit means that they must be held accountable and correctly labeled as abusive, as anyone without the consumption of substances would be. Knowing why things happen will help you to figure out an appropriate response.
Abuse is serious and, unfortunately, many people have actually lost their lives at the hands of their abuser. Even if your physical safety is not at stake, your emotional health is at stake. Learn more about emotional abuse and come up with a plan to either change your situation or exit the relationship.
Nobody should have to live with abuse in any form that should not be the price that is paid to maintain a relationship. Professional help is available and comes in many forms. As you learn more about emotional abuse, you will understand more clearly the exact type of help that will be most helpful to you. If you need outside help, reach out so that others can assist you. It is important to know that emotional abusers can change. If you are the victim of abuse or you are an abuser you will want to know if your abuser or you can stop abusing.
Answer the 15 question confidential Emotional Abuse Quiz and find out. He has a busy clinical practice in Toronto, Canada and throughout the world using the phone or Zoom.
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Why does emotional abuse happen? Emotional abuse may be rooted in childhood. Bad parenting It is up to the parents to set limits and teach a child how to be satisfied, even when he or she is disappointed because they didn't get everything they wanted. Observing abuse A child who regularly sees his parents verbally abuse each other can easily accept what he or she is observing is what a 'normal' romantic relationship looks like.
Glorification of power Some families have their own unique culture that glorifies power and violence. Their attitude becomes that of 'my way or the highway,' Even when abuse is learned as a child, he or she has to make choices as an adult. Emotional abuse may be rooted in low self-esteem. Force others to acknowledge their personal value People who feel worthless and unappreciated will sometimes resort to bullying tactics to get others to acknowledge their worth.
General immaturity Some abusive individuals have a low emotional IQ. Personality disorders There are numerous personality disorders that express themselves with extremely aggressive and insensitive behaviors. What constitutes emotional abuse? These include: Intimidation and threats. This could be things like shouting, acting aggressively or just generally making you feel scared.
This is often done as a way of making a person feel small and stopping them from standing up for themselves. This could be things like namecalling or making lots of unpleasant or sarcastic comments. This might include things like dismissing your opinion. It can also involve making you doubt your own opinion by acting as if you're being oversensitive if you do complain, disputing your version of events or by suddenly being really nice to you after being cruel.
Being made to feel guilty. This can range from outright emotional blackmail threats to kill oneself or lots of emotional outbursts to sulking all the time or giving you the silent treatment as a way of manipulating you. Economic abuse. This can be withholding money, not involving you in finances or even preventing you from getting a job. As the examples above make clear, emotional abuse is generally about control.
Emotionally abusive people use emotional blackmail. Emotionally abusive people act superior and entitled. Emotional abuse can take a number of different forms, including:. It is important to remember that these types of abuse may not be apparent at the outset of a relationship.
A relationship may begin with the appearance of being normal and loving, but abusers may start using tactics as the relationship progresses to control and manipulate their partner. When emotional abuse is severe and ongoing, a victim may lose their entire sense of self, sometimes without a single mark or bruise.
Instead, the wounds are invisible to others, hidden in the self-doubt, worthlessness, and self-loathing the victim feels. In fact, research indicates that the consequences of emotional abuse are just as severe as those from physical abuse. Over time, the accusations, verbal abuse , name-calling, criticisms, and gaslighting erode a victim's sense of self so much that they can no longer see themselves realistically. Consequently, the victim may begin to agree with the abuser and become internally critical.
Once this happens, most victims become trapped in the abusive relationship believing that they will never be good enough for anyone else. Emotional abuse can even impact friendships because emotionally abused people often worry about how people truly see them and if they truly like them. Eventually, victims will pull back from friendships and isolate themselves, convinced that no one likes them. What's more, emotional abuse can cause a number of health problems including everything from depression and anxiety to stomach ulcers, heart palpitations, eating disorders , and insomnia.
The first step in dealing with an emotionally abusive relationship is to recognize the abuse. If you were able to identify any aspect of emotional abuse in your relationship, it is important to acknowledge that first and foremost. By being honest about what you are experiencing, you can begin to take control of your life again.
Here are seven more strategies for reclaiming your life that you can put into practice today. When it comes to your mental and physical health, you need to make yourself a priority. Stop worrying about pleasing the person abusing you. Take care of your needs. Do something that will help you think positively and affirm who you are.
Also, be sure to get an appropriate amount of rest and eat healthy meals. These simple self-care steps can go a long way in helping you deal with the day-to-day stresses of emotional abuse. Firmly tell the abusive person that they may no longer yell at you, call you names, insult you, be rude to you, and so on. Then, tell them what will happen if they choose to engage in this behavior. For instance, tell them that if they call you names or insult you, the conversation will be over and you will leave the room.
The key is to follow through on your boundaries. If you have been in an emotionally abusive relationship for any amount of time, you may believe that there is something severely wrong with you. But you are not the problem. To abuse is to make a choice. So stop blaming yourself for something you have no control over.
Despite your best efforts, you will never be able to change an emotionally abusive person by doing something different or by being different. An abusive person makes a choice to behave abusively. Remind yourself that you cannot control their actions and that you are not to blame for their choices. The only thing you can fix or control is your response. Do not engage with an abusive person. In other words, if an abuser tries to start an argument with you, begins insulting you, demands things from you or rages with jealousy, do not try to make explanations, soothe their feelings, or make apologies for things you did not do.
Simply walk away from the situation if you can. Engaging with an abuser only sets you up for more abuse and heartache. No matter how hard you try, you will not be able to make things right in their eyes.
Although it can be tough to tell someone what you are going through, speaking up can help. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or even a counselor about what you are experiencing.
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