Cancel Report. Create a new account. Log In. Select another language:. Please enter your email address: Submit. Powered by CITE. Add a Quote. Our favorite collection of Famous Movies ». Michael Curtiz - Pulp Fiction. Quentin Tarantino - Fritz Lang - Taxi Driver.
Nah, you guys go ahead. Tractor beam. Harry Dunne Found insideIf you're tired of this emotional response to life's inevitable disappointments, this book can help. Joe Mentalino Found inside — Page 89NEH support is also saving three million brittle books by funding their microfilming We got no food, we got no jobs Joe Mentalino [Stares at Lloyd in disbelief.
One of 'em's got a gun. Harry Dunne Five to one. Well, then. Okay, no problem. Dumb and Dumber. You go first. The explosion of human genetic diversity has occurred in parallel.
Lloyd Christmas There's really nothing to worry about Mary. Screenplay by. Flo, like the TV show. Mary Swanson: I'd say more like one in a million.
Elderly Lady. She is the love of my life! We're driving across the country, the last thing we need is bad luck. The Farrellys are credited with.
For "Dumb and Dumber To," which arrives Nov. She actually talked to me. That's two things, Lloyd. Who are you? Harry Dunne : Harry Dunne [takes a swig, only to realize he just drank urine]. Lloyd Christmas Hi, Harry. Wayne's World is a talk-show parody from the American heartland; Lloyd Christmas Bikini Girl : Hi, guys.
Someplace warm. Kinda catchy, huh, Harr? Harry Dunne Uh, Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road please? Look, see this? Lloyd Christmas Lloyd Christmas Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep! Harry Dunne You heard him.
Both cheeks, both lips! Extra gloves? Joe Mentalino This is incredible. Let's put another shrimp on the barbie! A few seconds at most. Harry Dunne : Petey? That's nice. Found inside — Page But renting our new property, and selling one of our investments, should put us in Selling your position now, Mr. Hurwitz, would be dumber than dumb. Lloyd Christmas Part 2: Suggest a topic here to be turned into a video: Subscribe for more! Lloyd Christmas : [hands over ears] : Lloyd Christmas You go first.
We play them one more time. Oh, that pisses me off! Whoa, Big Gulps, huh? Where did you get 25 extra becks? Yeah, well what's that? You said it, pal. I guess we both learned a little something about each other today. Found inside — Page Compared to , "it's one helluva fourth quarter," marvels a distributor who is You're it. Fried teeth-licker of salmon fried fish! Lloyd Christmas Swammi? Don't tell me to shut up, woman.
It is the third film in the Dumb and Dumber film series and a sequel to the film Dumb and Dumber. Can too, double stamp it, no erasies! Some people just aren't cut out for life on the road. Elderly Lady Lloyd Christmas No, it's a cardigan, but thanks for noticin'! What are my chances? Mary Swanson : Not good. Lloyd Christmas : [he gulps, his mouth twitching] You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary Swanson : I'd say more like one out of a million. Lloyd Christmas : [long pause while he processes what he's heard] So you're telling me there's a chance. Lloyd Christmas : Excuse me, little old lady. Do you have change for a dollar? Elderly Lady : Change? No I'm sorry, I don't. Lloyd Christmas : Well, can you do me a favor and watch my stuff here while I go break a dollar? Elderly Lady : Of course.
Lloyd Christmas : Thanks. Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I'll be right back. Don't you go dying on me. Harry Dunne : That was genius, Lloyd, sheer genius. I mean where did you come up with a scam like that? Lloyd Christmas : Saw it in a movie once. Harry Dunne : That's incredible! So what happened, so the guy tricks some sucker into picking up his tab and gets away with it scott free?
Lloyd Christmas : No, in the movie, they catch up to him half mile down the road and slit his throat! Harry Dunne : [Stares at Lloyd in disbelief.
The speed of the engine increases]. Lloyd Christmas : Ha ha ha! It was a good one. Harry Dunne : Where's the booze? Lloyd Christmas : I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming. Harry Dunne : Oh, no, no. Lloyd Christmas : Come on, Harry. Harry Dunne : It gets worse. My parakeet, Petey. Lloyd Christmas : Yeah? Harry Dunne : He's dead. Lloyd Christmas : Oh, man, I'm sorry. What happened? Harry Dunne : His head fell off.
Lloyd Christmas : His head fell off? Harry Dunne : Yeah. He was pretty old. Lloyd Christmas : What the hell are we doing here, Harry? We gotta get out of this town!
Harry Dunne : Yeah, and go where? Where are we gonna go? Lloyd Christmas : I'll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine.
Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen. Harry Dunne : I don't know Lloyd, the French are assholes. Mary Swanson : Okay, how do you guys know each other?
Lloyd Christmas : We used to be best friends. Harry Dunne : Yeah, till he turned into a back-stabber. Lloyd Christmas : Me, a back-stabber? You got a lot of nerve. You knew I was crazy about her! Lloyd Christmas : [gasps] What do you mean? Harry Dunne : "What do you mean? Fraida told me the whole sleazy story, Mr. French Tickler! I guess we both learned a little something about each other today. Lloyd Christmas : You said it, pal.
Maybe we're not as good of friends as we thought. I mean, if one beautiful girl can rip us apart like this, then maybe our friendship isn't worth a damn. Maybe we should call it quits right now. Harry Dunne : You just tell me where to sign, bud.
Lloyd Christmas : Right on my ass after you kiss it! Harry Dunne : Kiss it! You kiss mine! Both cheeks, both lips! Right here! Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah! Lloyd Christmas : I'm only human, Harry! Come on! Stop being a baby. So we backtracked a tad. Harry Dunne : A tad? A tad, Lloyd? You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country in the wrong direction!
Now we don't have enough money to get to Aspen, we don't have enough money to get home, we don't have enough money to eat, we don't have enough money to sleep! Lloyd Christmas : Well, it's not gonna do us any good sitting here whining about it. We're in a hole. We're just going to have to dig ourselves out. Lloyd Christmas : [Harry is choking him barehanded on a picnic table in Aspen] Harry, your hands are freezing! Airport Clerk : Sir, you can't go in there!
Lloyd Christmas : Mock. Harry Dunne : Yeah! Lloyd Christmas : Ing. Lloyd Christmas : Bird. Harry Dunne : Where did you get those? Lloyd Christmas : I bought them when we filled up. Harry Dunne : We are supposed to talk about all expenditures Lloyd! We are on a very tight budget. Lloyd Christmas : This didn't come out of our travel fund.
Harry Dunne : Oh. Lloyd Christmas : Yeah, I was able to raise 25 extra bucks before we left. Harry Dunne : Where did you get 25 extra becks? Lloyd Christmas : I sold some stuff, to Billy in 4C. Harry Dunne : The blind kid? Ha ha! Lloyd Christmas : Yeah. Harry Dunne : What did you sell him Lloyd?
Lloyd Christmas : Stuff. Harry Dunne : What kinda stuff? Lloyd Christmas : I don't know, stuff. A few baseball cards, a sack of marbles,. Lloyd Christmas : Petey. Harry Dunne : Petey? You sold my dead bird to a blind kid? Petey didn't even have a head! Lloyd Christmas : Harry, I took care of it Billy : Pretty bird. Yes, can you say pretty bird? Pretty bird, yeah pretty bird Polly want a cracker?
Lloyd Christmas : I said, "Do you love me? Lloyd Christmas : Listen, Mr. Samsonite, about the briefcase, my friend Harry and I have every intention of fully reimbursing you. Nicholas Andre : Open it up. Open it up! Lloyd Christmas : [Motioning to Mary] Go ahead, open it up. Do what he says. Nicholas Andre : What is this? What is this? Where's all the money? Lloyd Christmas : That's as good as money, sir.
Those are I. Go ahead and add it up, every cent's accounted for. Look, see this? That's a car. Might wanna hang onto that one. Harry Dunne : What's with the briefcase?
Lloyd Christmas : It's a love memento. The most beautiful woman alive. I drove her to the airport. Sparks flew. Emotions ran high. She actually talked to me, man. Harry Dunne : [flabbergasted] Get outta here. Lloyd Christmas : Oh, yeah. Tractor beam. Lloyd Christmas : [imitates beam noise]. Lloyd Christmas : Sucked me right in.
Anyway, she left this in the terminal and flew to Aspen and outta my life. Harry Dunne : What's in it? Lloyd Christmas : Man. I would have to be a lowlife to go routin' around in somebody else's private property. Harry Dunne : Is it locked? Lloyd Christmas : Yeah, really well. Harry Dunne : I don't know, Lloyd. These places always seem to bring back a lot of bad memories.
Lloyd Christmas : What's the matter, Har? Some little filly break your heart? Harry Dunne : No, it was a girl. Lloyd Christmas : This isn't my real job, you know. Mary Swanson : No? Lloyd Christmas : Nope. My friend Harry and I are saving up to open our own pet store. Mary Swanson : That's nice. Lloyd Christmas : I got worms! Mary Swanson : I beg your pardon? Lloyd Christmas : That's what we're gonna call it. You know, like ant farms. Harry Dunne : Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life.
Mary and I went skiing, we made a snowman, she touched my leg Lloyd Christmas : Okay, kill him! Lloyd Christmas : They got the Monkees. They were a major influence on the Beatles. Harry Dunne : Ooh, look at the buns on that one. Lloyd Christmas : Yeah, he must work out. Lloyd Christmas : So where are you headin'? Mary Swanson : Aspen. Lloyd Christmas : Hmmm, California!
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